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So here I go again.. I had a moment and deleted all my blogs..



I have had an interesting couple of months. I think spending this time alone has really helped me become a better person. I'm working on a lot of stuff right now including the possibility of starting on my BSN pretty soon. School is scary.. but must be done.



I have made alot of mistakes this last year.. Many that cannot be fixed. I am, however, working very hard to fix what I can. I am trying desperately to get myself in a better place emotionally, financially, in general. I went to counseling to finally deal with the scars that I have from my piece of shit ex-husband. I have been working really hard to lose weight and am down 15 lbs since Sept. I have been working out as much as possible and trying to strengthen my back.

I want to be a better mom to Ethan.. Not that I am not a good mom, persay.. but I want to feel like I am somehow being the mom I always dreamed about being. As is I still get very frustrated with him when he's trying to play transformers OVER AND OVER again with me.. and I get overwhelmed when we are home alone for long periods of time. I'm still adjusting to us living alone. I have been doing silly projects with him like cutting up construction paper and creating stuff and we've been playing a lot of silly games. Again.. I find it hard not to get frustrated sometimes when he wants to play them OVER AND OVER and over again.. but I am working on my patience. I'm a work in progress.. guess I always will be.