Oh my.. It's been a while!

So it's been a while since I posted. It turned out that there was something on the CT scan. The neurosurgeon found a bilateral pars defect at L5. I have since been out of work completely and awaiting workers comp to come to a decision about whether or not they will approve or deny the procedure. I have had ZERO income since then and things have not been going very well.

I am now moved out of my beautiful condo and back in with my mom and dad. I couldn't afford my place anymore and I didn't have the ability to get a roomate to help since it was only a two bedroom. A friend took over the condo and signed a new lease therefore relieving me of my contract. My landlord was very understanding and awesome about the whole ordeal. I'm still waiting to get my security deposit back.. hopefully soon since my car payment is already overdue and I have no income.

Workers Comp has not approved or denied my procedure and they are also not paying me for my lost income at this time. Because they still have it tied up I am unable to apply for short-term disability. I am beyond frustrated with the whole process right now and I am starting to feel like I'm being treated like a liar. I spend most of my days laying on a heating pad on pain meds. I have rare good days and try to take advantage of them when I can, but usually pay for it the next day with significantly worse pain than usual.

As far as my personal life goes.. who knows. I have met some really wonderful men lately but nothing that has gone anywhere beyond a few dates. I am baffled by the inability of most men to come right out and tell you that they are no longer interested. Is it really that hard? I just don't get it. Be a man.. don't just stop calling/texting. I guess it's hard enough for a man to want to get involved with a mom of a 7 year old but now add to it that I'm broken too.. I'm just not something that many men jump at the opportunity to be with. I'm ok with that I guess. I would love to be in love again and to feel like someone loved me.. but in the meantime I guess I really don't have time for all that in my life anyway. I have this back thing to work through and a lot of issues related to that. I figure someday maybe I'll find happiness again.. until then.. I have my son and I have my puppy... At least I know they love me unconditionally! I'm really only truly hurt by one of the guys.. it was more than just a few dates though. I really let myself start to let down my walls with him and of course felt like a jackass when he decided that regardless of any feelings he had for me he just didn't want to be with me. We are "friends" now.. so I guess at least there is that.

Oh well.. Time marches on and so shall I.

I don't know what else to ramble about right now.. I guess I'll just shutup for now. Will try to update more often.